Being Safe in the DD/lg Community
by Daddy VinnieOkay, littles, this post is mostly for you, though there are some sensitive Daddies out there that may benefit as well.
Welcome to the wide wonderful world of the Daddy Dom/little girl (DD/lg) dynamic. This lifestyle has so much to offer anyone: the chance to be taken care of and cherished; the chance to nurture and care for the most adorable little you could hope to have in your life. Also, you get the chance to color, and play games, and play with dolls, or you can get naughty and play big girls games and play with Daddy’s lolly and indulge all your disturbing taboo fantasies. There are no rules, only your own twisted minds to play in - as well as each other’s bodies!
But it has recently come to our attention that many of you littles are endangering yourself in the kinky fetish community, mostly due to impatience, desperation, and loneliness. This must end … now!
The DD/lg dynamic is a subcomponent of the BDSM kinky/fetish community. As such, it’s very active on sites like fetlife, among other places. When lost littles are looking for Daddies, they are making rash decisions to meet people they’ve only just barely begun to talk to, that they’ve never met in real life, that they know nothing about at all. And then in their desire to have a Daddy, they get taken advantage of - fucked - and abandoned. There are a lot of scammers who will take advantage of impressionable young girls, and many of them are on fetlife and the other kinky social networks. They mask themselves, pretend they are good guys, find their way in to little girl’s hearts, and then use them quickly and leave them. This is a sad state of affairs.
First, BOOOO to those Daddies who take advantage of vulnerable littles. But likewise, BOOOO to you littles who aren’t taking a deep breath and thinking clearly.
Now is the time to stop the madness. Lolita and I love you all. We know that there are good Daddies out there for all you lost littles. And we know there are good littles out there for you lonely Daddies. So, here we go…..starting afresh to keep you all happy and healthy and joyful in your lives.
- Know Thyself - before you can begin to submit to another or be a little to a Daddy, you must know exactly who you are, what you like, what you want for yourself and for your Daddy. Do some soul searching. Write it down. (This is how I got to know Lolita - she wrote extensively about her Little side, revealing pieces of her inner self and also what she thought about who a Daddy might be for her, and how she must *earn* a Daddy.) Be inspired by her - take the time to know yourself more than anything else. Get in touch with your Little - embrace her, cherish her, protect her - she is THE most precious part of yourself. Be HONEST with yourself to a fault. That’s sooo important.
- Make contacts in your community. Fetlife is a wonderful social networking tool for the kinky community. You can find events in your area, or relatively nearby, make contacts with real people, find social events in PUBLIC PLACES where you can meet people and talk over coffee or sushi, just kinky people meeting kinky people and being supportive of each other. Friends are wonderful - they look after each other and keep each other safe and sane.
- Ask for References. Okay, so you’ve made contact with people on fetlife, and you’ve made contacts in your local community and made it out to a social. But that Daddy (or that little) that you are interested in, do you really know them from the brief messaging you’ve been doing? Noooooo!! So, time to ask for references. Did you know that Lolita asked about me before she met me… and that I encouraged her to? The leaders in your community will know who is good news and who is bad news and to be avoided. ASK FOR REFERENCES. It’s an essential step. And don’t ask the person to supply the references. There are lots of “friends” set up who will vouch for each other, and all they are is closed circles of friends who are causing trouble in their communities. Find out what you can about the person or people you are interested in BEFORE meeting with them.
- Meet for Coffee First - not play or a play party. So you’ve established that you like this cute “little” or that handsome Daddy and you are getting all goose fleshy every time his or her name pops up on fet chat or a message appears in your inbox. Time to have a coffee date, or meet at a public park or restaurant. Now is NOT the time to go out for drinks and get drunk. Now is NOT the time to go back to his place to “look at his record collection.” Now is NOT the time to go for a long private drive into the country. And now is NOT the time to have him introduce you to his three closest buddies. Littles - keep your panties on! There are SO many good Daddies out there, you do NOT know that this is the one, yet. Go meet for coffee. Talk. Chat. Establish a friendship, or not. Find out if this is the kind of person you want to spend more time with. You know, you might meet for weeks or months without doing ANYTHING. The point is, establish a relationship first, preferable a friendship, before anything more serous happens. This is the important time, the time for reflection and recounting what it is YOU want for yourself, and what you want in a Daddy (or in a Little).
- Time for the old BDSM Scene Negotiation Checklist. Okay, so the attraction is mutual and you are on the same wave length. Now what? What do you do? How do you start? It’s time for you to learn more about each other’s kinky sides. Find a good BDSM Scene Negotiation Checklist and each of you fill it out. Most DD/lg relationships have some sort of D/s twist to it, naturally. You may or may not be into heavy kink or impact play. So just adjust the checklist to your own preferences, whether it’s coloring and dolls or spankings and floggings. There are no rules. What you do should excite you and make you feel good - that’s the only rule. I have written an extensive post on BDSM Scene Negotiation Checklists. Check it out.
- Go Slow. Okay, so you’ve had a meeting of the minds, and probably lips, too, and had plenty of coffee and snarky talks on skype and fetlife, and you’re hitting it off swimmingly. You’ve negotiated your boundaries and talked about what you like and don’t like. And you still feel…….good, and excited. What do you do next? GO SLOW. There is no rush here. If you are desperate for a Daddy, if you are desperate for a Little, you are going to make bad decisions. Don’t be desperate. You’ve come this far - be proud of yourself for taking your time and make GOOD decisions. Keep on making those good decisions. Once you give in to your carnal desires and lusts, it’s difficult - impossible - to go back. Be sure. Make sure it’s what you want and how you want it. DO NOT SETTLE - EVER.
- Do what’s good for you. It’s difficult sometimes to take the high road, but it’s so important that you do when searching for a Daddy (or a little). Have some integrity and moral backbone. Be super honest with yourself and your prospective partner. In a D/s relationship and a DD/lg dynamic, there is a superabundance of trust that must exchange hands - more so than in a conventional relationship. First of all, if you engage in D/s, then there is a power exchange involved. If you don’t give 100% completely, then it’s very difficult to truly let go and give yourself to another. If you are holding back, then what are you really giving? Give your ALL.. in everything you do. And that’s double so in giving yourself as a submissive, or as a little. Always keep in mind to do what’s good for you. Protect your little, but also allow her the luxury of a Daddy that has earned his place and that you have earned yourself.
After all, as my little girl would say, you are worth it, aren’t you?
You bet you are! Lolita and I know that you lost littles are worth the best Daddies out there. And for you lonely Daddies, we know you deserve the Little that fits you best.Be good to yourselves…. all of you. Do not compromise. Do not settle. Know who you are and what you are about. And never ever ever do something silly and spontaneous and without thinking. You are too important and too precious for that.
Know that Lo and I love you all very much. Thanks for following along. As always, you are welcome in our inboxes anytime.
(Source: prideoverprofitandgutsovergreed, via littlegirlinwaiting)





